Very often I find myself having conversations with God which end up in heated discussions between me and Him! I ask Him why do the things that I yearn for not go my way? Why can’t I have it easy… like others! At times I also find myself struggling with the thought that others who might not share my faith.. seem to have it easy! And yet I find myself dealing with disappointment after disappointment even though I do everything “by the book” or “ as is expected of me!” So why hasn’t He rewarded me yet?
In the time forced to spend at home I hoped for a movie scene awakening.. a graceful one where everything simply falls into place one fine morning. I was almost certain that this moment is going to stare me in the face as a grand moment! And so I waited … and waited.. until I realised! It was me who had to challenge myself to find time to sit with myself and come face to face with realities I have been scared to face.. or conveniently put aside because I am too busy to deal with!
After hearing the story behind the song ‘Another in the fire’ and listening to Chris Davenport talk about his experience.. a sentence he said stuck with me!
“ I’m gonna make the enemy regret this decision..” The first enemies that popped into my mind where those people who betrayed me, who hurt me, experiences which left an impact on me…. but listening to the song helped me realise, the enemy is that feeling that instills doubt in moments when our faith is shaken. The enemy is the despair that becomes bigger than hope! Slowly I started realising that awakening experiences happen all the time… some are gentle.. some end in a crash landing! Nonetheless.. Each time we choose hope we are one step closer to making peace with our reality… ready to accept it and we are one step away from the voice of doubt!
May this song help us to not be afraid to come face to face with our fears, doubts, anxieties.. but always remember that:
“should I fall in the space between
What remains of me and this reckoning
Either way I won't bow to the things of this world
And I know I will never be alone”
Below are a Youtube link and Spotify link to listen to Another in the fire by Hillsong.
https://youtu.be/BDZD1SMz6tY
https://open.spotify.com/track/2e7UGyxFACAfwHjmgNNMbS?si=WJnQRlkDRPijjhHlsCAAsg
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